See You, 2008!

So, its been a year since I wrote this post about saying goodbye to another year.

Without fail, this time of year finds me melancholy about putting out the Christmas tree and saying goodbye to a year that I was just getting used to. I know that this means that I am getting older and the proof is the fact that I recently said, in a professional setting, something about having the latest version of Microsoft Office 1998. Yeah. I sounded ridiculous.

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2008 were:

1. Floss More- Sadly, I have failed miserably. But, I’ll try again.
2. Run a 1/2 Marathon- Accomplished April 2008!
3. Continue to lose baby weight incurred by the birth of the Bee in 2007- Accomplished, largely due to #2 on this list!
   

I can feel good about that…I guess my teeth could feel better though.

 

Perceiving vs. Judging

Back in graduate school, I studied a bit about the Myers-Briggs Personality Test. Most people have heard of it…you take it, the test is scored and you’re labeled with one of sixteen possible types described by four letters.

You can be either:

• An I for Introverted or E for Extroverted
• An N for iNtuitive or S for Sensing
• A T for Thinking or F for Feeling
• A J for Judging or P for Perceiving

When I took this in grad school (and I took it several times to gauge it’s reliability), I had a strong, definite result. I ran across the test results recently and was interested to see if I had changed at all, according to MB. So, I took this quick, easy (and free!) version and it seems I’ve changed.

Back in about 1999, I was an ENFP which seems to mean that I like people and ideas a lot, but that I wasn’t particularly good at following through with stuff. That was pretty much true. I’ve done the test a few times over the course of the past week or two, and my new result is pretty close to the old…but I’ve changed in my “P” for a “J” leading me to ENFJ. Apparently now, I am better at following through with projects and also my kitchen and desk are probably straight all of which are true.  Except for the desk part.  That could be neater.

I like these results, because they really just say that I am a Damn Nice Person.  That’s true a lot, but like anyone else I have my moments.  While the MOD & I were out last night celebrating his birthday, we were discussing the not so pleasant aspects of aging.  His contribution to the conversation was the fact that his knees ache every morning due to excessive basketball playing.  Looking for something more substantive, I said that when I get anxious (which seems to happen pretty often these days) that my anxiety makes me bitter.  And that bitterness makes me even more obsessive.

So I Need To Let It Go.  Especially since most of it isn’t that important anyway.

So anyhoo (hi Denise), take the test.  If you’ve taken it before, have you changed?  If this is your first time, do you think the results are accurate?  Achy joints notwithstanding, do you think you’re changing as you age?

 

My Top Five List. I’m Cyber Laminating It.

This is obviously something I’ve been giving a lot of thought to…since 1996. I mean, it’s not like I have three children to care for or a house to clean or a business to run. This is important, earth shattering information.

1. John Corbet. I have wanted him ever since I saw him on Northern Exposure in about 1992. Even after the episode where we found out that he was a convicted felon and couldn’t vote. That’s how much I loved him: convicted felon status wouldn’t have swayed this Good Girl. Apparently, he’s been in a long term relationship with Bo Derek, and no doubt he’d be terribly disappointed with me. But. Still.
2. Anderson Cooper. I am not sure that there are enough words to describe this particular infatuation so I won’t even try.
3. Luke Wilson. When Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde fell for him, I did too.
4. Chris Cornell. The Very Good Girl in me so, so, so wants to be A Bad Girl who wears lots of leather and gets a tattoo and other things that are so not me that I envision him liking.
5. Mark Wahlberg. A testament to the fact that one’s past does not define you. And, also he is way hot.

 

My Top Five List. I'm Cyber Laminating It.

This is obviously something I’ve been giving a lot of thought to…since 1996. I mean, it’s not like I have three children to care for or a house to clean or a business to run. This is important, earth shattering information.

1. John Corbet. I have wanted him ever since I saw him on Northern Exposure in about 1992. Even after the episode where we found out that he was a convicted felon and couldn’t vote. That’s how much I loved him: convicted felon status wouldn’t have swayed this Good Girl. Apparently, he’s been in a long term relationship with Bo Derek, and no doubt he’d be terribly disappointed with me. But. Still.
2. Anderson Cooper. I am not sure that there are enough words to describe this particular infatuation so I won’t even try.
3. Luke Wilson. When Reese Witherspoon’s character in Legally Blonde fell for him, I did too.
4. Chris Cornell. The Very Good Girl in me so, so, so wants to be A Bad Girl who wears lots of leather and gets a tattoo and other things that are so not me that I envision him liking.
5. Mark Wahlberg. A testament to the fact that one’s past does not define you. And, also he is way hot.

 

Do You Know What’s Behind Your Kitchen Cabinets?

I didn’t either until we got the “chance” to take them all out.  Yes, it’s back to home improvement for us, and this time we’re destroying our kitchen to make way for a new one.

We’re all about stimulating that economy, y’all.

And, for once, we aren’t doing all the work.  However, the MOD, eager to earn back the full glory of the title of the “Minister of Details,” has been happily measuring tile and sanding spots on the wall to get ready for the installers.  We spent last weekend doing demo work.  Now, when I think of demo work, I think me + a sledgehammer working out some aggression while removing crap that we don’t need anymore.

Hmmm…that’s not really how it turned out since we ended up selling all the cabinets, appliances, and counter tops to someone.  So, we had to be careful and work gingerly and it was so not as much fun as it once sounded.

The MOD, happy as a clam when he has a project, spent Friday night drilling, sanding, patching, removing, plumbing, wiring, painting, etc.  He is the ultimate Minister of Details!

The MOD uncovered this weird hole behind a cabinet.  So I did what any helpful wife and errand girl (…in his mind when he’s in Project Man mode) would do…

I drew on it.

He thought that was really funny, by the way.  He also really enjoys when I’m in his way, taking lots of pictures of construction areas, pipes, and general messes.  Like this one, where you can see the contrast between the supposed function of the kitchen and the construction zone that it really is.  By the way, just because you can see a bit of the faucet in the photo does not mean that we have a functioning kitchen sink.  Oh No.  That would be too easy.  A kitchen sink in a kitchen??? Totally unnecessary.

The best and funniest thing came later on after we had removed all the cabinets, and other “necessary” appliances like microwave ovens and dishwashers.  Apparently, someone building our house in about 1992 decided to make his very own time capsule in our kitchen wall.

Why, yes, that is a McDonald’s cup featuring Team USA basketball player, David Robinson, in the 1992 Summer Olympics that took place in Barcelona, Spain.  For some reason, I found this hysterical and revolting all at the same time.

So, you ask, what do you do with three children and no kitchen…?  You grill and tell your children that they’re only allowed to dirty one cup per day and clean out your coffee pot in the bathroom sink.  Then, if you’re like me, that girls trip that you’ve been planning for four months just happens to fall all on the same weekend…so you do the responsible Mom thing and take off for Vegas leaving your husband with three kids.  And no kitchen sink.

That’s me.  Mom of the Year.  See you Monday when I’ll be a lot richer AND in possession of a house with a working kitchen!

 

Do You Know What's Behind Your Kitchen Cabinets?

I didn’t either until we got the “chance” to take them all out.  Yes, it’s back to home improvement for us, and this time we’re destroying our kitchen to make way for a new one.

We’re all about stimulating that economy, y’all.

And, for once, we aren’t doing all the work.  However, the MOD, eager to earn back the full glory of the title of the “Minister of Details,” has been happily measuring tile and sanding spots on the wall to get ready for the installers.  We spent last weekend doing demo work.  Now, when I think of demo work, I think me + a sledgehammer working out some aggression while removing crap that we don’t need anymore.

Hmmm…that’s not really how it turned out since we ended up selling all the cabinets, appliances, and counter tops to someone.  So, we had to be careful and work gingerly and it was so not as much fun as it once sounded.

The MOD, happy as a clam when he has a project, spent Friday night drilling, sanding, patching, removing, plumbing, wiring, painting, etc.  He is the ultimate Minister of Details!

The MOD uncovered this weird hole behind a cabinet.  So I did what any helpful wife and errand girl (…in his mind when he’s in Project Man mode) would do…

I drew on it.

He thought that was really funny, by the way.  He also really enjoys when I’m in his way, taking lots of pictures of construction areas, pipes, and general messes.  Like this one, where you can see the contrast between the supposed function of the kitchen and the construction zone that it really is.  By the way, just because you can see a bit of the faucet in the photo does not mean that we have a functioning kitchen sink.  Oh No.  That would be too easy.  A kitchen sink in a kitchen??? Totally unnecessary.

The best and funniest thing came later on after we had removed all the cabinets, and other “necessary” appliances like microwave ovens and dishwashers.  Apparently, someone building our house in about 1992 decided to make his very own time capsule in our kitchen wall.

Why, yes, that is a McDonald’s cup featuring Team USA basketball player, David Robinson, in the 1992 Summer Olympics that took place in Barcelona, Spain.  For some reason, I found this hysterical and revolting all at the same time.

So, you ask, what do you do with three children and no kitchen…?  You grill and tell your children that they’re only allowed to dirty one cup per day and clean out your coffee pot in the bathroom sink.  Then, if you’re like me, that girls trip that you’ve been planning for four months just happens to fall all on the same weekend…so you do the responsible Mom thing and take off for Vegas leaving your husband with three kids.  And no kitchen sink.

That’s me.  Mom of the Year.  See you Monday when I’ll be a lot richer AND in possession of a house with a working kitchen!

 

PTA Moms Who Piss Me Off WILL End Up On This Blog

Let this be a warning to all of you.

Seriously, blogging is easy when people behave badly. It’s like a little blog gift wrapped up neatly with a bow and presented on a silver platter.

For the past two years, I’ve co-chaired an event at the Bear’s school with two other lovely ladies- we raised over $50,000 at each event. We stepped aside this year to bring some new blood onto the committee, but I said that I would continue to be involved- I just didn’t want to chair it anymore because I knew that I would have lots of stuff going on this fall.

On Wednesday night there was a meeting that I missed- The Monkey Nurse and the MOD were both working and the MOD had been home early the night before due to my birthday so I had no childcare. On Thursday when the Bear got home from school, she handed me a packet of information from the missed meeting as well as a list of tasks that I was to accomplish. Stuff that the chairpersons are normally responsible for…I did it the year before so I’m well aware of the massive time involved.

I’m thinking of joining the PTA Volunteer Protection Program.

I have a business that is launching, a website that is malfunctioning, and within hours I won’t have a functioning kitchen sink. Great ! Does anyone want me to be a surrogate mom? I have just about thirty minutes free sometime next Wednesday.

AND, just to make it clear, I NEVER say no. In the three years that the Bear has been at the school, I have about 1000 hours of volunteer service so I’d hardly classify myself as a slacker.

The following ensued…names have been changed to protect the People Who Live For This Shit:

Dear Person Who Assigned Me Things That I Previously Said I Would Not Do:

I received the packet of information that you sent home with my child today. Again, I apologize for missing last evening’s meeting due to childcare.

Unfortunately, I cannot commit to completing the procurement tasks that you assigned me. I know that I said that I would follow up on some of the donations from last year that were not on the sheet and I will do that. However, I cannot commit to contacting by letter and following up with phone calls at this time to the donors on the sheet.

At this time, I am involved in launching my business which I’ve been working on for the past 18 months and I will be out of town several times this month. These reasons are the reasons that led me not to chair this event again. My Co-chair and I did most of the procurement work last fall so I understand the level of attention it needs, and I cannot offer that at this time. I am sure that you understand…so many of us have so many things going on.

I look forward to attending the next meeting and offering help to make sure that our live auction goes a bit smoother this year.

Thanks So Much,
The Benevolent Dictator

This morning I received this gem:

Hello Benevolent Dictator:

You are under no further obligation to attend future Snow Gala meetings — it seems it is a difficult season for you to attend.

As you mentioned in your email below, you are more than welcome to share your feedback about how the live auction could be improved and submit it via email to me.

Ms. Bitchy & Condescending

Seriously? Who’s the Benevolent Dictator? I wasn’t about to let her win so I fired this one off:

Hi Ms. I’m Seething and I So Want To Call You A Bad Name Through My Clenched Teeth-

I made a commitment last winter to be on this committee and I intend to follow through with this. Please understand that I literally finished tying up loose ends of Snow Gala 2008 this past August and that I spent 600+ hours on this over the past year. In addition to parenting a baby, a toddler, and a school age child, I have other commitments this month that make it impossible for me to do the procurement work that I know is necessary in October. My email was meant to clarify what I can offer this committee at this time- that I intend to honor my commitment to help with the live auction and any other duties that do not take place in October.

Please advise the time and date of the next meeting.

The Benevolent Dictator

And, so far that’s the last word. I am such a small person.

Thanks to Mommy Needs Coffee. She’ll know why.

 

My Disappointment Runneth Over

I saw this poll this weekend, and I have to admit I was surprised- but I guess I shouldn’t have been given the political conversations I’ve had in the past few days.

If I had read this article last week, I might have been shocked, but it’s come to my attention that several people in my life- people, who normally vote Democratic- have said that they will not vote for Barack Obama because he is black. I’m thoroughly disappointed. Especially because at least one of these people is one of my very favorite loved ones. Someone who should know better.

There isn’t any defense for this kind of behavior, but I guess I should point out that these people are all 70+ years old. Still, I don’t think this is much of an excuse and, fortunately or not, all votes are counted the same regardless of the age of the person who cast it. This generation of voters is also the generation most likely to be church going, and last time I looked, the main lesson learned in Church is to Love Your Neighbor.

Now, Barack Obama isn’t everyone’s cup of tea. I understand that. It takes all kinds, and all that.

Fine. Don’t vote for him if you disagree on his policy views, his views on Iraq or his social stances. Educate yourself and make your own decision. That’s fine; you’ve participated in the political process by learning the issues and voting accordingly.

But, to not vote for him because he’s black…or more accurately, biracial? Sad. And, I thought (more, I hoped) that we were past this. Barack Obama is an Ivy League educated, professional, and articulate man who happens to be black. In addition to all the normal accolades, he appears to have a personal and family life to be envied.

This article breaks it down pretty well and suggests, if Obama loses the election, that he can point his finger at defectors from his own party who refuse to vote for a black man. Perhaps it’s the oldest generation still casting their ballots, maybe it’s the blue collar demographic that normally goes blue..but whatever. What’s wrong with us? As a white person and, more importantly a human being, I am sad about this. It’s maddening especially when I’ve pretty much been of the opinion that most of America is ready to move on past the old fights. It seems as if the old fights may be new again.

When we tell young children, black or white, that they can be anything that they want…are we telling them a lie just to make us and them feel better or do we actually believe it? A bit of sunshine to be floated around that makes us sound good and inclusive and socially acceptable? Because someone, perhaps his grandmother or maybe a teacher, told a young Barack Obama that he could be anything he wanted as we all tell our children. Should he have believed this trite, cliched worn phrase…. or was it merely a set up? It would be a complete and utter travesty of the American dream if he didn’t earn the presidency based on the fact that society betrayed that most simple of promises told to children everyday in classrooms and after bedtime stories. But I’m starting to think that it might happen. Vote.

 

Tears, A Cocktail, & the CMT Saturday Night Movie

The MOD was flipping channels the other night while I was working on That Damn Website when he happened upon “Driving Miss Daisy” on CMT.  No doubt, that was certainly the first time that the MOD ever let the TV settle on that particular station during any of his time spent channel surfing.

I cried. Hard. I absolutely blubbered my way through the whole movie starting about the time that Jessica Tandy teaches Morgan Freeman to read in the Jewish cemetary, through the part where she goes to see Martin Luther King speak, and at the end when he helps Miss Daisy with her pie.

At this point, the MOD was laughing at me and, still crying, I went into the kitchen, slammed my glass onto the counter, and went upstairs to wash my face. And, I was still crying as I washed the mascara off my cheeks and got into bed.

That movie came out when I was in high school. I saw it, and I remembered liking it, but not really thinking it was that big of a deal.  But I get it now- it only took 15+ years!  I’m obviously very quick.

Certainly, there are lots of themes to be drawn for this movie given the time in which the movie was set- civil rights, religion, social class, etc.

But, just the simple theme of unexpected friendship was so poignant for me…and, the cause for my morning after oh so beautiful swollen eyes.  Because who knows who your best friend turns out to be?  I’ve had best friends in Maryland, and in Tennessee, and in Wisconsin, too, I guess.  Since I’ve been married, the MOD has been my best friend.  Often, though, it’s those people that make up the everyday, mundane who turn out to have the most effect in our lives.

I don’t have a chauffeur, but I’m resolving to notice the everyday lessons from the everyday people in my life.

 

Some Kind of Weird Empathy

If I were Sarah McLachlan, I’d be able to write an evocative song about what I’m feeling right now.

For some reason, I am so terribly sad that she and her husband, also her drummer, are splitting up.

I really am. I’ve teared up about it a few times over the past two days.

As soon as I heard her new song last week, I thought to myself, “Holy crap, she’s getting divorced.” And, then I read it yesterday, and I’m just heartbroken. Why? I don’t know.

Maybe it’s just that, more than any other artist, her music has been continually playing in the background of my grown up life. Sarah McLachlan is, without question in my mind, the most talented songwriter and vocalist of my generation. She hasn’t written a bad song and, her voice is angelic. It has an ethereal, mystical quality to it, and I never get tired of listening to her.

A very private person- anything that she wants to the public to know comes out in small spurts in her lyrics. Her song “Push” has always been very important to me and when I saw her concert in September 2004, she told the story of writing it for her husband who, she said, had put up with a lot of her pregnancy induced hormonal moments. She joked that it was about time that she wrote a happy love song.

I guess that’s why it all seems so sad. To hear a simple and beautiful message that sums up so many marriages and, four years, later a song with an entirely different and heartbreaking sentiment…it just seems to prove that things, for anyone, can change and it can happen to you and me too. And, it is so, so sad.  Why am I so caught up in someone else’s life?  Someone I don’t know?

Her new song has been continuous on my itunes all this week, and the lyrics are haunting.  Asking questions about if their “eden was a failure…a made up story to fit a picture perfect world?”  I guess you question your reality and those kinds of things when something that you thought was a given becomes an uncertain.  What I perceive to be her natural graciousness comes out by the end of the song, but it seems as if these questions are still lingering in her mind…and as much as I’d love for her to have new material for a long awaited new album, I just can’t help being Sad.