It Was Going to be Sooner or Later

I just thought that, after this season, it would be later. 

For sure, the state of Wisconsin is officially entering a time of mourning as #4 announces that he will leave his job as quarterback and the grass of Lambeau Field for his retirement as chief lawnmower at his home in Mississippi and his waiting John Deere tractor.

A wise woman said, “I really do love football, but its hard to parlay that into a reason to live.” 

In the depths of winter, when the playoffs are over and there’s two feet of snow on the ground, there is always the promise of flowers blooming in the spring, beach trips, and finally the beginning of preseason football to anticipate. 

I feel torn about all this.  Brett Favre played football for sixteen years.  That’s longer than our babysitter has been alive.  But, I only got to enjoy it for eight seasons and would have loved to have seen him win another championship.  I really thought he was going to- I did. 

It’s great that he is going to move on to another chapter in his life, but watching him play was a treat that I am going to miss.  He was an emotional player, and his facial expressions gave him away regardless of whether the Pack was losing or ahead by three touchdowns.  He couldn’t hide his disappointment when he was playing badly, but his look of sheer glee and that twinkle in his eye when everything was in sync was completely pure.   His enthusiasm was childlike. 

Happy Retirement, Mr. Favre.  Green Bay won’t be the same without you. 

 

I Never Found That Baby Name Book at Barnes & Noble

In honor of the playoffs…

The NFL and the NCAA boasts some of the most unique names.  Some of my favorites:

• Taco Wallace
• Plaxico Burress
• Rico McCoy
• Jeff Smoker (I know that Carlos Boozer plays basketball, but I thought it would be great if these two could play on the same team)
• Raynoch Thompson
• Atari Bigby
• John David Booty
• R. W. McQuarters (why, McD’s hasn’t picked him up yet, I do not know)
• Pork Chop Womack
• Jabari Greer
• DeBrickshaw Ferguson
• Amani Toomer
• Flozell Adams sounds like he could moonlight hawking prescription drugs- Flonase or Flomax
• Bob Sanders (only because with a name like that, he sounds like a white middle aged accountant from Ohio instead of the fierce, dreadlock wearing hard hitting safety that he is)

Thanks to the my brother the Coach and to the BD Mother for chiming in on this one. 

 

My Favorite Football Penalties

I guess one thing that separates me from male football fans is the fact that I actually have favorite football penalties. 

Some penalties are boring: for example, holding.  Ho-Hum.  Some are just misnamed like the Delay of Game call.  If they were really worried about the game taking too long, they would just let it go.  Enforcing that penalty actually takes a lot longer than if they just let the players take an extra second or two.   Call it what it is:  You Ran Out of Time. 

But I have two that I like:  Excessive Celebration is definitely the best penalty in my book.  This is penalty is akin to a hangover the morning after a great night out.  You are now being punished because you had too much fun. My number two penalty is Illegal Touching.  How funny is that?  It reminds me of two kids fighting in the back of a car yelling because the other one touched them or, even better, a guy trying to get to second base with a new girlfriend.  In fact, these two penalties remind me of life in college. 

Last night, during the Baltimore Raven’s near upset of the New England Patriots, the refs called one I hadn’t heard before.  It really made me think that the penalized player had read this blog entry.  A Ravens player, presumably out of frustration after the Patriots scored a touchdown, picked up one of the ref’s flags that had been thrown after a penalty on the play and threw it up in the stands.  They kept showing the replay of the touchdown, but I really wanted to see the player throwing the flag into the crowd.  He was penalized again for that and will, no doubt, be fined.  Certainly, it wasn’t the best way for that player to conduct himself on the field, but I think that he gets points for creative use of a flag. 

And, his actions, which I imagine created a new category in the rulebooks under penalties, now ranks as my third most favorite infraction: bad behavior with a ref’s flag. 

 

My Dream Career

This is a hard one because to actually do it, I would need to be a gazillionaire first which is kind of difficult to become.  But, I would love to own an NFL team.  I think it would be great and I would totally be one of those owners that would be at the games every week in my box with a cocktail in hand.  I would want to know the players and go on ESPN ALL the time to talk about the game, and the team, and how much football rocks.  BUT, unless something massively unforseen happens, I think that NFL ownership is out.  Aside from the Minister of Detail’s certificate of ownership for the Green Bay Packers, I think thats a pipe dream. 

Its still spendy, but something more attainable is horse ownership.  Maybe one day when I am more like a millionaire, I can do this.  I would love to be a little old lady with makeup and jewelry on, sporting a massive hat, cocktail still in hand, Manolo Blahniks on my feet.  No infield here!  Just a warm southern afternoon, mint juleps, and one of the greatest traditions in sports…cheering on my horse at the Kentucky Derby. 

And, if neither of these scenarios pans out well…I do have a secret wish.  This one involves a little less glamour on the wardrobe front and certainly fewer cocktails, but I would love to be a football referee.  Not for the funky black and white striped shirt and tight pants, but because I truly want my own set of yellow penalty flags.  I love when the refs throw them and have often wished that I had a set for real life. 

How great would it be to carry them around and be able to use them at will?  Someone is chatting on their cell phone taking up the whole aisle with their cart in the grocery store?  Five yards!  How about a few weeks ago when I took the kids to the McDonald’s PlayLand?  A parent was completely not paying attention to their FIVE kids (this is Utah) climbing on the outside of the play structure and using our table (where we were eating) as a launching and landing pad in this pursuit.  Personal Foul, Fifteen Yards, Automatic First Down. 

Do you think that ebay has them? 

 

Can It Get Any Worse?

I am watching my hard earned and carefully researched football standing in my yearly pool go down the tubes.  My favorite NFL player, Peyton Manning, is letting the San Diego Chargers run all over the Indianapolis Colts.  What kind of world is it when you can read the four letter words coming off the lips of the NFL poster child for good behavior?  MAN!