Keeping Myself Honest

It hasn’t been easy lately, but I’m trying to dig myself out of this funk I’ve been in lately that has suppressed most of my energy and all of my creativity.  My funk has been self-induced and, although I’ve been telling myself that its only effect has been on me, the truth is that I’ve rubbed off on the people around me.  Unfortunately.  So, here we are on February 3 and my New Year’s Resolutions are on my mind everyday.

The most notable thing to share is that I’ve decided, as part of my resolution to volunteer more, to take my children once  a month to do some kind of good deed that will help people less fortunate than us.  Coming up with these good deeds is another story.  Because, honestly, a bystander watching me try to go out in public with an eight year old, a three year old, and a temperamental one and half year old in the name of service probably thinks of himself as MUCH more fortunate than I am and to go home and do us all a favor.

But the Super Benevolent Dictator WILL NOT be dissuaded by naysayers.  The BD laughs at them!

And at herself, as she tried to wrangle three kids, three bags of food, and a hot cup of coffee (some of which ended up on her sweater) through the doors of a local food bank.  Where there didn’t seem to be any people.  Where there did seem to be an abundance of massive shelves filled with massive Costco sized quantities.  Where my three little bags of food filled with normal boxes of pasta and hot chocolate were dwarfed by 8759 ounce sized jars of mayonnaise.

I think my three beasts were more disappointed by not actually getting to hand over their bags that they dragged from the car to, you know, the less fortunate themselves.

But, it was our first try and, all things considered, it went well.  The beasts got a taste of the idea that life is more than happy meal toys and playdates.  Next month, we’ll try again.  These days, especially, it’s good to remember how much we have and that we’re better off taking care of our neighbors.

 

The Inauguration, Two Days Removed

Its been six days since the inauguration so I won’t regurgitate all the stuff you’ve already saw, read about, and otherwise channeled this week.  BUT. Our visit to the National Mall two days prior to the big show was marvelous.

• It was freezing
• People were happy, smiling, and totally soaking up the vibe
• The much mentioned 5000 port-a-potties probably weren’t enough to deal with 2 Million people.  But, seriously, have you ever seen 5000 potties in one place?  It’s a whole lotta potties, people.
• Barack Obama’s momma probably never dreamed that her son’s face would adorn flags, coffee mugs, winter hats, purses, playing cards, posters, bobble heads, t-shirts, shoelaces, Dr. Seuss style hats, and on and on and on.  My little blue Obama ‘08 button that seemed to attract attention in Utah suddenly seemed horribly inadequate in the DC metropolitan area.

 

Getting It Right in 2009

So, my 2008 resolutions were more concrete in nature.

This year, it’s Pie in Sky Time.

But also, I’m going to do what I want to do. Go Where You Wanna Go, Do What You Wanna Do as the Mamas & Papas Sang. Viva La Vida, as Coldplay puts it.

1. Flossing. It appears yet again in 2009, this time first.
2. Keeping an eye on Mr. Obama to see if he becomes the president that we all think he can.
3. Clinging to the good people in my life, letting go of the energy suckers- the harbingers of negativity and drama.
4. Listening more, talking less.
5. Writing more, of course.
6. Exercising patience with loved ones and myself, letting go of ridiculous standards.
7. Remembering “What Is The Most Important Thing?”, a phrase that the Bear and I use often
8. Volunteering More
9. Finishing the Salt Lake Half Marathon, quicker than last year
10. Exposing my children to thoughtful and kind conversation, issues, & ideas

If I can do all that, I’ll rock.

 

See You, 2008!

So, its been a year since I wrote this post about saying goodbye to another year.

Without fail, this time of year finds me melancholy about putting out the Christmas tree and saying goodbye to a year that I was just getting used to. I know that this means that I am getting older and the proof is the fact that I recently said, in a professional setting, something about having the latest version of Microsoft Office 1998. Yeah. I sounded ridiculous.

My New Year’s Resolutions for 2008 were:

1. Floss More- Sadly, I have failed miserably. But, I’ll try again.
2. Run a 1/2 Marathon- Accomplished April 2008!
3. Continue to lose baby weight incurred by the birth of the Bee in 2007- Accomplished, largely due to #2 on this list!
   

I can feel good about that…I guess my teeth could feel better though.

 

My New Fall Weekend Pastime

Keeping on with the sports…

I’ve been a lucky football fan.

Being a University of Tennessee fan is pure southern collegiate sporting excellence. Until this year, when the best word to describe it is sad. Being a Green Bay Packers fan has been a bit heartbreaking too, what with Brett Favre’s tearful goodbye, hello saga that lasted all spring and summer. And seriously? Just watching him play with the Jets is pretty painful. Especially since they’re winning and the Pack is decidedly not.

So, to entertain myself during all these awful games, I’ve come up with a new game.

Stay with me here, it’s a bit difficult to describe, but you’ll get it.

When there’s some kind of dead ball situation…a player who’s down by contact, perhaps, and the ball comes rolling out. No doubt, a player from the opposite team will grab it and start down the field not stopping until he reaches the end zone and dances around, obviously so proud of himself. No matter that no one was actually chasing him, that the ref blew the play dead 45 seconds ago, and people who were waiting for the play to be over to get up are in line for their next beer.

It’s called Fake Yard Football.

Some players excel at Fake Yard Football and are even better at this game than the actual game of football itself. I saw a player get 96 yards of fake yards this Sunday. He got 6 Fake Points too.

These players are very serious about their Fake Stats and are usually the ones to point at the other team when it was they who jumped off sides. Or, raise their arms to signal touchdown when their teammate is clearly a foot or so away from the line.

I love Fake Yard Football because it embodies the silly hopefulness that we all have about something. Euphemistically, we spin something better than it really is. Even big old scary football players do it.

Fake Yards. I think we could get John Madden in on this one.

 

Can't We All Get $25 Billion?

I’ve been grumpy, sad, and irritated lately and I wonder how much of it to put on this blog. Then, I remember that this is my place to vent and so it goes again:

My old job has come back to haunt me. Every few months, there’s a story so heinous that it keeps me up at night, just like my old job as a supervisor in a child welfare agency did most nights. Last night, I was up because of this one and sleep continued to evade me because of this.

I saw a lot during my three years working in foster care. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The Good is pretty minimal, but once in awhile there’s a great moment when all the stars align themselves properly. The Bad & the Ugly are much more prevalent and, let me tell you, when it’s bad, its bad. Not one social worker that I’ve ever met spent years in school to graduate in order to do crappy work, but the system is severely broken that at times it matters very little how hard you work.

No, it’s the system that is chronically flawed beyond repair and the two examples above are but two events that happen regularly. I wish that I knew what to do, but I don’t.

Perhaps my anger and sadness the past two days has been exacerbated by this. Why is our government so ready to throw 25 billion dollars at companies that for the most part make sub par products and are run by unions? I understand that the effects of bankruptcies are massive, with millions of jobs lost and therefore millions of tax revenue lost. People bitch about government programs that don’t work all the time, and you could add this one to the list as $25 billion is likely to be but one drop in a big old bucket.

However, I’d take a wager on the fact that $25 billion dollars pumped into our schools and the foster care system would go a very long way into making some of those programs work. In addition to taking care of our children in the way that should be expected of the richest nation on Earth, imagine the amazing consequences if we gave all those kids a fighting chance. The possibilities would be endless, and the tax benefits would be but one way to measure the successes that may result.

So, like those Big Three executives who flew into DC on their corporate jets, I’d like my chance to get before Congress and ask for a piece of the 700 billion dollar pie. I’d even drive my Toyota. Just a thought.

 

Can’t We All Get $25 Billion?

I’ve been grumpy, sad, and irritated lately and I wonder how much of it to put on this blog. Then, I remember that this is my place to vent and so it goes again:

My old job has come back to haunt me. Every few months, there’s a story so heinous that it keeps me up at night, just like my old job as a supervisor in a child welfare agency did most nights. Last night, I was up because of this one and sleep continued to evade me because of this.

I saw a lot during my three years working in foster care. The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. The Good is pretty minimal, but once in awhile there’s a great moment when all the stars align themselves properly. The Bad & the Ugly are much more prevalent and, let me tell you, when it’s bad, its bad. Not one social worker that I’ve ever met spent years in school to graduate in order to do crappy work, but the system is severely broken that at times it matters very little how hard you work.

No, it’s the system that is chronically flawed beyond repair and the two examples above are but two events that happen regularly. I wish that I knew what to do, but I don’t.

Perhaps my anger and sadness the past two days has been exacerbated by this. Why is our government so ready to throw 25 billion dollars at companies that for the most part make sub par products and are run by unions? I understand that the effects of bankruptcies are massive, with millions of jobs lost and therefore millions of tax revenue lost. People bitch about government programs that don’t work all the time, and you could add this one to the list as $25 billion is likely to be but one drop in a big old bucket.

However, I’d take a wager on the fact that $25 billion dollars pumped into our schools and the foster care system would go a very long way into making some of those programs work. In addition to taking care of our children in the way that should be expected of the richest nation on Earth, imagine the amazing consequences if we gave all those kids a fighting chance. The possibilities would be endless, and the tax benefits would be but one way to measure the successes that may result.

So, like those Big Three executives who flew into DC on their corporate jets, I’d like my chance to get before Congress and ask for a piece of the 700 billion dollar pie. I’d even drive my Toyota. Just a thought.

 

NaBloPoMo-NoMo'

I’ve had to abandon my quest to complete 30 Posts in 30 Days.

Why, you ask? Because, in all the NaBloPoMo excitement, I forgot that we’re traveling next week to a house (close your eyes and put your fingers in your ears and scream if you must- I know I’ll be) WITH NO INTERNET! Seriously, I freaked out last week for one day without DSL. I’ll cope somehow…

So, it’s with great sadness that I had to abandon my pursuit. We’re probably all better off anyway because I’m a grump this week due to many things, not the least of which today involved heated blog exchanges (if you have a lot of time and don’t care about your blood pressure, read all the comments posted under this entry) about religion and politics. It’s not too invigorating to be told multiple times that I’m misunderstanding someone merely because I disagree with them. Anyhoo. I’ve finally found a cogent approach to the whole issue that is so well written I wish I could steal it.

I need some blog love from you, my loyal blog friends. And, I’m going to return the favor making a great effort to comment five times a day for the rest of NaBloPoMo, with the obvious exception for my foray in Amish No Internet Land. Get ready for some fantastic-ly awesome comments and love from me, The Benevolent Dictator.

 

NaBloPoMo-NoMo’

I’ve had to abandon my quest to complete 30 Posts in 30 Days.

Why, you ask? Because, in all the NaBloPoMo excitement, I forgot that we’re traveling next week to a house (close your eyes and put your fingers in your ears and scream if you must- I know I’ll be) WITH NO INTERNET! Seriously, I freaked out last week for one day without DSL. I’ll cope somehow…

So, it’s with great sadness that I had to abandon my pursuit. We’re probably all better off anyway because I’m a grump this week due to many things, not the least of which today involved heated blog exchanges (if you have a lot of time and don’t care about your blood pressure, read all the comments posted under this entry) about religion and politics. It’s not too invigorating to be told multiple times that I’m misunderstanding someone merely because I disagree with them. Anyhoo. I’ve finally found a cogent approach to the whole issue that is so well written I wish I could steal it.

I need some blog love from you, my loyal blog friends. And, I’m going to return the favor making a great effort to comment five times a day for the rest of NaBloPoMo, with the obvious exception for my foray in Amish No Internet Land. Get ready for some fantastic-ly awesome comments and love from me, The Benevolent Dictator.

 

Blogging Everyday Ain't Easy

I actually detest the word “ain’t” but it is descriptive.

So, lately, for the readers that are still with me, I’ve been a bit contemplative, a bit opinionated, and just a kind of a downer. Writing block has set in, and I wish that I had some funny tidbit to share, ANYTHING, but I don’t… other than blogging about blogging.

Last night, my husband the ultimate Minister of Details asked me what I’ve been writing about and “if it was going to get him in trouble…”

Yes, I’ve been writing about some things that have been controversial lately especially here in the Salt Lake Valley, but I assured him that my traffic is way too low and that no one reads This Blog anyway. To take it a step further, I also reminded him that I would never make a judgement about what individuals believe in terms of religion, but that I have a problem with what some organized religions have been up to this election season.

The MOD didn’t seem convinced and I tried my best to convince him that, despite how great he thinks I am, I am not running around in Posh Blog Circles and that the NY Times will not be soliciting me for work anytime soon.

Besides if Mary Matalin and James Caraville can continue to be married to each other and not get each other in trouble at their respective places of business, then he and I should be able to carry on in relative harmony. Right?

Admittedly, I did have a brief moment of wanting to tell him to take his spousal brand of attempted censorship and stick it where the sun don’t shine (if I’m going to use poor grammar & crude language On Purpose, I’m gettin’ it all out on one post)…but of course that would be The Wrong Thing To Do.

So, for all you potential commenters out there…has this ever happened to you? Do you shy away from writing about sensitive topics in fear of being dooced in some fashion?